Solutions to some common college problems – my way.

Every college student faces some similar struggles in their quest to be successful and happy. I’ve done my best to conquer at least some of these problems, ranging from the mundane to the philosophical. Different things work better for different people, but here is what I’ve found works for me.

1. How do I avoid the freshman fifteen?

There are a huge number of blogs and health sites that tell you how to manage your diet, how to follow the food pyramid and avoid excesses, and most of that is common sense. But the way that I avoided the freshman fifteen is something that the majority of people would be loathe to do – become vegetarian. Don’t get me wrong, being vegetarian doesn’t magically cure all health problems or magically make you lose weight. Most of what the cafeteria serves that vegetarians can eat is carbs. Vegetarians have very high starch diets, so we have to be careful too. But being vegetarian taught me an important lesson – to appreciate my food.

When you stop and consider how much work went into each item of food – to grow or raise, to transport, to cook, to serve, you begin to realize how much food is taken for granted. When you realize how many people have no food, when you realize what the value of food really is (being a college student who buys her own food really helps with that whole “understanding value” thing. It’s expensive!) It reminds me to enjoy the food I eat instead of enjoying the process of eating itself. And it reminds me to eat because good food is good for me, because I am hungry, not to eat because I am bored or because there is food in front of me.

2. What to I do with all this laundry?

Okay so I had to learn this one the hard way, I’ll admit. Last semester I was terrible about putting my clothes in the washer or drier, leaving while the machines ran, and then completely forgetting about my clothes. One day my clothes sat on top of a drier for TWO DAYS before I noticed that they were missing. Had I not been in the Honors Dorm, I’m sure the clothes would have been stolen or thrown away. It was so embarrassing.

My advice? Wait with your clothes. I know it’s boring, I know you have an active social life and you also have things you need to get done, like cleaning your room, doing your homework, spending five hours on facebook…the list goes on. But if you bring your homework, your phone, your laptop, a book – with you then you’ll actually work what you need to work on instead of watching tv in your room or IMing with a friend. I recently read The Princess Bride almost exclusively in the laundry room. I got some me time, was the first to get open driers, and didn’t leave my underoos out in the open for the world to see. The quad commons, where I do my laundry nowadays, has really terrible internet connectivity which is actually a good thing for buckling down and reading your chem book instead of facebook stalking people for the latest gossip.

Oh, and taking laundry home to mom works too. I love you momma!

3. Homesickness

I know this one all too well. For those of us that live several hours away from our loved ones, or even farther away, going to school can sometimes be frustrating. I enjoy the freedom that I have living away from the watchful eyes of my parents, but I also miss them a dreadful amount. And not only do I miss my family, I miss my friends!

My best advice is this – SKYPE. Skype is an instant message program that lets you video chat with people all over the world for free. My friend in Taiwan? We can chat it up. My roomate on the other side of the quad? I can drop her a line too! Unfortunately my parents declined to show an interest in Skype, they prefer to talk over the phone, but the rest of my friends from home saw the value of this awesome program. You can talk from computer to phone and phone to computer, you can IM on it, you can use audio alone, or you can use audio and video! Sometimes just posting messages on a friend’s facebook wall doesn’t cut it. You have to see their face. With all the cool features on Skype, you can see each other’s desktops, have group conversations with a bunch of friends…it’s awesome! My friends and I watched an episode of family guy together on Skype one time, it was just like the highschool days!

4. How do I manage my money?

The best way to manage your money is to only buy what you need! Since I don’t have a job and I depend on my parents generosity to pay for my essentials, I try really hard to limit the amount of extraneous stuff that I buy. Of course, giving in every once and a while is nothing bad, I love late night McDonald’s runs and buying orange juice to wake me up in the morning and help me absorb my iron. But there comes a point when you have to ask yourself. Do I need this? Will the amount of use or happiness it gives me be worth both the money and the space? (since we all know how valuable space can be in a college dorm) If there is room for doubt, don’t buy it!

Having a debit card instead of a credit card helps, especially when you can do your banking online. I admit that I generally don’t check online to see my balance, I just call my mom and ask, but you should check your balance! Do as I say, not as I do, haha.

Also a hint is to not buy food that you won’t eat. I had a problem about buying food that would inevitably grow stale because I bought too much and couldn’t eat it in time. And some of my friends have had problems storing food that would eventually go bad from being kept in inadequate conditions.

As for clothes, well, I know some college students are a lot more concerned about them than I am. Maybe I look frumpy, but at least I don’t have to explain to my parents why a check bounced, or have to worry about accidentally buying too much. Also, when buying clothes, paying a little extra for clothes that will last a long time or be used a lot is worth it. I know that sounds counter intuitive, that spending more money is good, but if you need a coat or a backpack or some jeans, get some that will last so you don’t have to buy new ones! And as for fashion, I recommend purchasing things that won’t look stupid next spring…some trends are just ugly.

5. Dealing with people

This can be the most annoying part of college. But newsflash to college students, this doesn’t just relate to college, it relates to life. My first semester was very educational. I learned how to deal with all sorts of people, I was put into the mix with all of these strangers (I knew three people when I came to ASU, and none of them were people I knew all that well.) I encounter boys who wanted to date me, boys who wanted to play practical jokes on me, boys who wanted to be my friend. Girls who talked about me behind my back, girls who went to the mall to hang out with me, girls who are now some of the people I trust the most. Professors who inspired me, professors who bored me, professors who made me want to pull my hair out. People are crazy, people are amazing, people are frustrating. You just never know what you are going to get. But some basic advice covers it all.

a. Passive-aggressive is still aggressive.

Writing notes with snarky comments doesn’t make you look clever. It makes you look like a jerk. Subtly sabotaging your roomate or suitemate is just NOT a good idea. In the long run things like toilet paper, taking out the trash, or obnoxious significant others do not matter. They really don’t. Being passive aggressive does nothing but put pressure on a conflict that could easily be solved by just talking. My policy is if it isn’t worth it to me to talk about it, then it isn’t worth it to me to be passive aggressive about. So no squeezing dirty mop water on pillows of people I don’t like, or stealing toliet paper, like some horror stories I have heard.

b. Forgiveness is worth it, to a certain extent

People are gonna disappoint you. It will happen. They will say things that make you upset, they will criticize something you do. Likewise, you’ll disappoint people and say things they won’t like. It is just how the world works. There isn’t much to say about this, other than the fact that to err is human, and to forgive, divine, and there are a lot of things that just aren’t worth losing friends over. Disagreements of the minor sort are nothing to freak out over.

On the other hand though, don’t let people use you. It is easy to let your feelings for someone override your judgment. Generally the best policy is to trust people until they do something really out of line, and even though you have forgiven them, you won’t let them pull that again.

c. Genuinely listen, and genuinely speak.

Don’t fake listen to people. What I mean is, when people are talking to you, don’t just halfway pay attention. Be sincere about the fact that you care about what they are saying. If you are bored with the subject, you can change it after the person finishes what they are saying, but nodding your head sleepily, interrupting, or ignoring are three ways to really make someone feel like crap. People know when you are being sincere. Don’t be a fake, and don’t take up the whole conversation just about yourself or things that interest you.

Likewise, be sure to actually contribute something to the conversation. This is the one that I have the hardest time with. Submitting your part to a conversation is how people get to know you, and it keeps things going. Be sincere, and if you have something to say, say it. Once again, do as I say and not as I do – don’t be afraid to speak up! Don’t interrupt however. Please. Just don’t. Cutting people off with your opinion on the first half of their sentence is insanely rude, especially when the second half of their sentence might have made all the difference.

Everyone has a lot of interesting stuff to say – so listen and contribute your own! Talking with people, professors, tutors, bosses, whatever, doesn’t have to be a chore. Actually caring about what people have to say will be sure to make you friends.

6. How do I get good grades?

Studying tips include:

• focus on concepts, not vocabulary words. Understanding will last, and if you understand then the key terms become easy.
• for math especially: if you don’t have time to do all the homework, do three problems from each section. The first, the last, and one question from the middle of each section well help you understand what the section is trying to get across.
• go to the library with friends. you may think that you’ll just end up procrastinating, but most of the time my friends get annoyed if they are done with their work and they have to wait on me to finish mine. if you have friends from the same class, it can help immensely to just talk about the material
• MOST IMPORTANT. 98% percent of the time, if you put in the time with the books, you’ll get a good grade. So just do it. Clock in your hours and you’ll be rewarded. Don’t think about how you can get out of it, how much work you can miss and still get an A. Just do the dang homework, it’s not as hard as it sounds. You’re paying an awful lot of money for this homework, you might as well use it.

College is basically what you make of it, everyone knows that. So make it good!

Have a lovely evening!

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